New Year's Resolutions

2008 Plan!

Today is the last day of the year and that also means the last day to make your 2008 New Year's Resolutions. I am not a big fan of New Years resolutions because they are a failed system. Just look at them for a second. We make the same resolutions year after year.....lose weight, get out of debt, read more books, never miss church...on and on. But the fact of the matter is that we are great at dreaming and making up these pie in the sky resolutions; but terrible at keeping them and achieving results. A failed system. Do you remember your 2006 resolutions? Do you achieve them? What were the measurable results? The fact of the matter is that resolutions are just noise and make us feel good about some dream that we know will not happen. What is a better system then?

Goal Setting!

Harvard and Purdue Universities did a joint study on goal setting and found these results:

• 87 % of the people have NO goals at all. (This means over 8 out of 10 people you run into have no direction at all and are aimlessly walking around this world with no clue)
• 10% of the people have some vague goals but they don't follow the rules
• 3% of the people set goals and do the right way
• 3% who have goals and do it the right way earn 10 times as much as non-goal setters.
• 3% who have goals have more money than the other 97% combined

From the insurance statistics: Of 100 tracked in their 30's until they reached retirement at the age of 65; 3 reached their goal, 7 came close, 36 died, and 54 were broke and could barely cover basic living needs. So set goals and do them right (in a system). What is the system? (Let's use weight lose as an example)

• Goals have to first be realistic and achievable. You can't lose 30 pounds in 30 days! This just is not going to happen so don't set goals that can't be reached. It just leads to giving up and excuses.
• Goals must be broke down into long term, medium term and short term segments. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds this year, then break it down into segments by months and weeks for example. You would have to lose 2.5 pounds per month or .5 pounds per week.
• Goals must be tracked. You must get on the scale each week and track the progress. There must be a numerical value or tracking system in place.
• Goals must be reviewed. Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Quarterly, Yearly
• Goals must have accountability. There must be some teeth to this. If you don't hit your weekly goal of .5 lbs in weight lose, then you can't go out to eat at all until you are back on track.

So for 2008, don't set those ridiculous New Year's Resolutions that will never amount to anything. But rather set some goals for 2008 both in your professional and personal life. Once you do that, then follow the system and you will be amazed at what you will accomplish this year! Believe me, you are capable of accomplishing far, far more than you can ever believe if you do it right!

I do this work for my clients and call me if you want to have the best year of your life in terms of goals and accomplishments!

More on Time Part 2...Perfect Moments

Perfect Moments!

We have been talking about time and how to use it and the absolute need to cherish it. To cherish time and take advantage of every minute means we must Be Present. We must pay attention and be alert. This sounds obvious but it amazes me how many people I run into that are living in a fog with no attention to the present time. Start paying attention to people and look at if they have "the light on" and are In the Present.

Once you are In the Present and paying attention, time then becomes really special and you see things much differently. The goal then is to have Perfect Days! What is a Perfect Day? A series of perfect moments all strung together. Its these Perfect Moments that make life great! Its these Perfect Moments that is the goal. Its these Perfect Moments that need to be cherished.

Last night I had a perfect moment. My Son Teddy, was so tired yesterday from running around all day. He was spent! I was watching the Texas Longhorn football game and Teddy, not saying a word, climbed on my lap and put his head on my shoulder. He quietly and gently feel asleep. Now I ask you this: is there anything in the world better than a cuddling child who peacefully falls asleep in your arms? A PERFECT MOMENT!

Learn to look for perfect moments. And these perfect moments happen in everyday life. You don't need vacations or special events to have perfect moments. In fact, the most precious perfect moments come in your daily life. Then learn to put a string of them together. The end result will be perfect days. The road map to a life well lived!

More on "Time"

You can't count your days.....but you can make your days count!

I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas! Over this Christmas Holiday I spent some time thinking about... time. I thought about Mitch Albom's book "For One More Day" where he explored the question of: If you had one more day to spend with a departed one, what would you do? Albom found over and over again, that people just wanted to spend a regular day doing regular things with loved ones. In addition, they all wanted to tell a loved one just one more time how much they loved them and how much they mean to them.

In asking this question of what people want if they had one more day, this book helped me understand that is just the ordinary things that we do everyday that makes life so special. Yes we all remember special vacations and glamorous events, but those are not what Albom found people wanted. We all have had huge wins and some losses too. Would you chose either of these if you had one more day? Probably not. What most people wanted is human relationships and human connections in just a regular day. So what can we learn and apply? Everyday is a gift and this gift should be treasured!

As Kelly's grandma says: It's later than you think...so we need to treasure everyday of our life. We need to maximize everyday. So as we near the end of 2007 and start 2008, do this: Tell your loved ones just how much you love them and how much they mean to you; and also Cherish every single regular ol day!

Crisis....a good thing

"I believe God gave us crises for some reason—and it certainly wasn’t for us to say that everything about them is bad. A crisis can be a momentous time for a team to grow—if a leader handles is properly."

Mike Krzyzewski

Crisis. Disruption. Disaster. Pressure. Predicament. Dilemma. Dire Straits. All these are terrible right? Well my answer to that is maybe.....but maybe not! (Most likely probably not!)

What do you do when confronted with a bad event? The typical series of events starts with blame and pointing fingers; then moves into anger; and finally ends up with a pity party for themselves. I understand. And I have been there and done that before. But then, I actually sat down and thought about it in depth and realized what a waste and misunderstanding all this was.

Crisis are put in our lives ON PURPOSE! Far more important than our circumstance is our character! How do you find out ones' character? How do you build one's character? IN CRISIS! There could be an entire book on this subject and far too much for this blog. But today's point is this: Embrace crisis. Yes embrace bad events. They are there on purpose and building your character. Find the good in them (because they are there) and use them to further your purposes in life!

Ask yourself this: Why would the word faith exsist and be so important if we did not have some crisis in our lives? If everything was 72 degrees, sunny, and no wind in our lives, we would not need faith!

No Drama!

You have all heard someone called a "Drama Queen". This should not be a compliment. But it seems in today's world, many people are obsessed with drama! They thrive on it, have to have it, and actually seek drama in their lives. Is that you? I don't get it at all. Maybe is the Soap Opera or Reality TV World we live in. You know...where a soap opera character blows everything entirely out of proportion. Example: Mary says something about Julie that is not so nice. Julie then says something like, "I can't believe she would do something so bad to me. This is the worst thing that has every happened to me."

It's crazy. If this describes you; then stop today. Life is not meant to be a drama. Life is meant to be full filling and abundant and you can't achieve these with chaos and drama in your life.

Enough said: NO DRAMA!

Dad....

DAD!

I heard some good advice the other day that I want to share. Last week the Mitchell Report came out uncovering the disgusting ramped use of steroids in Major League Baseball. (another whole issue not going to be covered now) After the report came out the debate started and shock set in with people arguing back and forth on this sick topic.

Then I heard a guy say, wait a minute; stop obsessing with this topic as the most MLB or any other sport should ever be is Entertainment! You know, this is so true. I live in a huge college town of Austin Texas where the Longhorns are more than a passion but an obsession to some. I went to college at University of Nebraska where the Huskers are the way of life. So I get it! I am a huge fan too!

But the advice was that all this is just entertainment and focus on the real important things in life; like being a good DAD! I think this is so true. With all the busy busy busy stuff in our lives and all the recreational activities we can get caught up in, I think it's hugely important to not lose focus on the most important things. What to do? You can't go wrong just spending time being a good parent or good person! Focus on that and you will live a super good life.

For me, I am going to just try to be the best DAD I can!

In every situation, look for something good!

Look for something Good!

A little boy was playing baseball in his backyard and said to himself, "I am the greatest hitter in the world." He then tossed a ball in the air and swung at it, but he missed. Strike one. He then quickly picked up the ball again and said, "I am the greatest hitter in the world." He swung and missed again. Strike two. The grabbed the ball again with more passion and determination and said, "I am the greatest hitter in the world!" He swung hard but missed again, strike three. The little boy put down his bat and smiled really big. He then said, "But I am the greatest pitcher in the world!"

Do you have that same attitude as the little boy? When things don't go to plan or work out like you would have hoped, what do you do? You know most people immediately go negative when things don't work out for them. They start complaining, bitching, gossiping, moaning, and the host of negativism that we see so much in today's world. They 100% focus on the negative and all that is wrong with their specific circumstances and the world in general. In addition to complaining, the sit in a re-active mode and offer no solutions to improve their situation. They would rather complain than work themselves out of the hole. That drives me crazy. I hate the reactive plan. And you can examples of this everyday.

But what about the other option; the option of being positive. What about the option of finding something positive in EVERY situation? What would your world look like if you always found something good in every situation? Now I know the next question that some of you are thinking.....What if there are NO positives to be found in my situation? I don't buy it! There is always something positive you can focus in EVERY situation! Don't believe me? I am living proof. I have found so much to be positive about even though my plans for my life are not going as I have planned. (By the way, this is just my plan and my plan is does not matter an ounce compared with God's plan for me. God is working his plan for me and that means everything while my little silly plan for myself means nothing! So when I reflect and think about it in these terms, I know there is something to be positive about because God is in control of my plan/life!)

Bottom line: Life is so much fun when you focus on the positive! Try it! In every situation, be like the little boy and find something positive!

Chris

My Uncle Phil

To: Uncle Phil

In prior posts, I have talked about the topic of "time." Time is an amazing topic to explore and I am getting a much improved understanding of "time". I hope you are too. I have a long a way to go but I want to share with you all about a person who really understood "time"....My Uncle Phil.

Uncle Phil lives life to the fullest. There wasn't a day that I can remember where he had a bad day. (I am sure he did like all of us but he sure didn't show it). The glass is always half full in Uncle Phil's world. Along with my aunt Donna, they traveled the world (literally). I have never met anyone who traveled as much as they did. The things my Uncle Phil's eyes have seen is second to nobody. Talk about a valuable use of time!

My Uncle Phil is not feeling all that well in Yankton SD. And as I sit here today praying for him and thinking of him, I want to share some of things that I have learned from my Uncle Phil. I want you to meet my Uncle Phil and learn from him as I did.

• Value and sanctity of marriage. My Uncle Phil and Aunt Donna taught me about marriage and what a good one looks like in real life. My Uncle Phil will leave the next generation a gift called "how to do right in a marriage".
• Humor. Nothing better and more attractive than a sense of humor. And boy o boy does my Uncle Phil have a sense of humor!
• Arts and Culture. My Uncle Phil values the arts and cultures of this world. And not only does he study them, but my Uncle Phil traveled to see them first hand. We all can go on the Internet or read in a book about Moscow for example. But that was not good enough use of my Uncle Phil's time. My Uncle Phil had to see it himself with his own eyes. This is a gift of using time and living life to the fullest that my Uncle Phil has.
• Baseball. My Uncle Phil loves baseball. (so did my Grandpa Mike!)
• Live and Play Life on the Field (not don't ever watch life from the grandstands) Life is abundant and full if you play it and don't watch it!

Do me a favor for all you that read this (And THANK YOU for reading), say a prayer for my Uncle Phil. I hope you can take away a few lessons from my Uncle Phil and learn from him like I have. For sure, we can all learn that everyday is so great and valuable. We need to live everyday to the fullest and take advantage of every minute....just like my Uncle Phil.

Uncle Phil, thanks for all you have taught me in my lifetime! I will be sure to pass them on to my kids so they can also learn from Uncle Phil.

Chris

There!

There

Where is your there?

Some of us live in a world of always trying to get "there". We are consumed with "there". Our priorities are out of line and everything revolves around getting "there." And then, if we do get there, we are not satisfied and we begin another obsession on a "new there". The "there" can be very destructive and unhealthy if not balanced.

Examples of "there": I will be happy and my life fulfilled when I get:

• That new promotion is my there
• Paying off credit cards is my there
• A new job is my there
• A new title is my there
• Getting married is my there
• Retiring is my there
• Income of xxxxxx is my there
• Having another child is my there
• Buying this house and car is my there

But as we all know, when we do accomplish a "there" we look around and say "Is this it?"..... We are not any more satisfied than before so we just move on to the next "there" (usually with more obsession to get that natural high and this leads to even more unhealthy living). The circle goes around and around and we live day in and day out unsatisfied. You know what I am saying? We see it everyday in world! But why?

The good news: Be happy today with your there! Be happy with your current life. Be happy with your present day. Life is so much more fun when you stop the chasing of all the "there" and you just enjoy what you have now and your current life!

100 year test.....

100 Years From Now....

100 years from now none of us will be on this planet. I don't mean to sound negative or depressing but that is just a fact. When you think about it like that, it gives you a new prospective on life. 100 years is extremely short period of time and very insignificant in comparison to history and creation.

So that being said, how can we take this fact and use it to our benefit? Well, one of things is to realize that things you think are urgent and crisis are generally not that important. If I lose my cell phone, what impact will that have on me 10o years from now? NONE! But think about all the wasted energy we have in our typical day on things like a lost cell phone. That new dress you are obsessing about, what life impact will that have 100 years from now? The mess your kid made, which made you furious, what impact will that have in 100 years? That work project that you are consumed with, what impact will that have on you in 100 years?

I am just asking....

Do this: The next perceived stress or crisis, stop and ask yourself: What impact will this have on me in 100 years? I promise you will take a deep breath and relax realizing most stuff we worry about is just not that important! You then will have some inner peace and that DOES have a POSITIVE impact 100 years from now!

Focus on Have and not Want

A couple weeks until Christmas! Hard to believe; time goes so fast. You know one of the things we learn at Christmas time is to write down a list of all the things we want. My son Teddy wants a basketball hoop that has a shot clock on it....he is obsessed with basketball hoops!

Funny story real quick: Kelly took Teddy yesterday to see Santa and of course; Teddy told Santa he wanted a basketball hoop. After Teddy, there was a Santa "shift change". After Teddy was done sitting on Santa's lap, Teddy saw Santa leaving going into the dressing room. He left Kelly and sprinted over to Santa and said, "I also want a basketball for my hoop." Santa's response: "You already told me a bunch of times. I know you want a hoop."

One of the things some people carry on with them to adulthood is this "wanting list". They constantly want more and more things. Once they get a "want thing" from their list, they don't stop and appreciate it, but rather fill this list back up with more wants. Want Want Want. You know the person I am talking about.



This is very dangerous and will leave major voids in the soul. The reason is because that person will never be satisfied in life. It's the constant chase of more, bigger, faster, prettier stuff and this rat race is destructive. Happiness is not found in constantly wanting new desires.


Good news: You can be extremely happy by just changing the focus and point of view. Instead of thinking of WANT all the time; change that and think of HAVE. From Want to Have.
To this: Make a list of not what you want. Make a list (and keep it up) of all the things you have! You will be amazed what this does for the soul and your attitude in life. You will see the world through different lens than you currently have. Your world will appear much better than it was before.

Tying it all Together?

The last 12 hours or so, I have had this strong inner feeling/inner message to Tie it All Together. I am not entirely sure what this all means. This is scary, exciting, inspirational, calming, and uncertain all put together. Reminds me of a soup that is not done yet and missing a few elements before becoming really good.

But as I am going through this process of Tying it all Together and figuring what this means, I have wrote some personal notes that may spark some interest in you:

• Kelly's Grandma says: "It's later than you think..." Can I get a Amen on that one?
• Time is fascinating. Spend some quiet time thinking about....well.....time
• Do you have your priorities written down? Do you track the progress of your priorities? Do you make adjustments to make sure your Master Targets in your life are hit?
• People get funny when you talk about their money!
• Why do people spend time on things that really don't matter? Or.... Why don't we spend time on those that mean most? Or....Why don't we spend the most energy we have on those that mean most to us? (All kind of the same exploration)
• Why do we lose are imaginations as we grow older?
• Faith
• Why do I constantly check my email?
• I have the best start up company in the world! I love what I do. Someday this is going to be very cool company. I am one break away!
• The word Grace: Undeserved Favor....may be the best word in the world!
• My best accomplishment: Dad!
• My biggest responsibility: Dad!
• Man alive...do I have a ton to be thankful for!
• Is there any better feeling than helping someone?
• With every privilege comes responsibility
• With every gift comes a test and a responsibility
• We sure take things for granted...don't we?
• I miss my grandpa Mike!

Do this: Take some time today, no matter how busy you are, and write down your thoughts as they come to you. Try it!

What does "home" mean to you?

My Church (Lake Hills Church, Austin TX) is having the Christmas message entitled "Home for the Holiday's". (I love my Church!) As I thought yesterday about the upcoming message, I reflected on the meaning of "home" for me. I never really thought about the word home before; what it means to me; and how am I doing at leading my home for my family. The word home means......

I had the pleasure of growing up in a GREAT home. It was so over the top in greatness that it was really not even fair; that's how wonderful my childhood home was. So here are my notes on what home means to me:

• A place for safety and place of comfort
• A place for warmth and coziness
• A place for complete transparency
• A place to hang out
• A place to cry
• A place to laugh
• A place of joy
• A place to pray and connect
• A place to share (both wins and losses)
• A place for great memories
• A place full of positive vibes
• A place for family and friends
• A place for development and growth
• A place where you want to be (inviting to all)
• A place for FUN!
  

There are houses and then there are homes. A big difference. My goal is a home. That means I don't care..... if it is kind of messy; if there are basketball hoops in the front entrance; if there are toys in my bed; if there are footballs in my shower; if there toy snakes in my shoes; if there are sippy cups hidden in the couch. I need to watch myself and prevent worrying about all the little stuff in my home that really doesn't matter. Does it really matter if the carpet has a small stain from juice? Nobody will remember any stain on the carpet but my sons will always remember Dad playing tackle football with them in the living room (there will probably be a bruise and few stitch's here and there...it's all good)

I ask myself: What would Teddy and Tate say about their home when they grow up? I hope and pray I am providing a great home for my family! I know I will continue to work hard at it.

Question: What does home mean to you?

Chris

Big Dreams with Small Loans

He wanted to work in the Silicon Valley, she in Africa. And one day, Jessica and Matt Flannery hatched the idea of marrying one wish to the other. How? By creating a website that would permit everyday citizens to make small loans to entrepreneurs in Africa and in developing countries elsewhere. To test out their idea, the couple spammed their wedding list and raised more than $3000 for a handful of businesses in Uganda. Launched in 2005, Kiva--the Swahili word for unity--has since helped disperse over 11 million dollars to business-owners in 36 countries, through loans as little as 25 bucks.

Another example of greatness in this world. Big things can happen by even a small number of people!

Have a great weekend!

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY TEDDY TAPKEN!

It's Christmas Everyday!

As kids, think about how excited you are when you see those presents under the tree (for me it still applies today). You care for them so gently. You are so careful in lifting them; looking at them; putting them up to your ear to see if you can get clues as to what is inside. All this is done so carefully. You account for everything with that present. If someone moves it, you know. If someone takes it, you immediately call that out.

But did you know you get a present everyday? It's called TIME! It's Christmas everyday! You get the best gift anyone could ever give you and you get it daily; it's called 24 hours.

But how do you treat that gift? How do you account for that gift? Do you pay attention to that gift? Are you thankful for that gift?

For some, they take that gift for granted. For some, they are not one once thankful for that gift. For some, they waste that gift. For some, they really don't like the gift. How terrible and sad is this?

Today:

• Be thankful for your gift
• Do something positive with your gift
• Don't waste your gift
• Realize your daily gift
• Share your daily gift
• Tell others about your and their daily gift
• Be accountable for your gift
• Be responsible with your gift
• BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR GIFT

Time....Some thoughts

IN YOUR PURSUIT TO CONQUER EVERYTHING; MAKE SURE YOU DON'T ACCOMPLISH NOTHING!

Ask someone how they are doing and what they have been up to lately and I almost promise you will get a response of "Just Busy"or something to do with being busy.

Everyone is busy today. I get that. But here is what I don't get; what are most people really accomplishing? Something to give some thought to for you personally. You see, we all 24 hours per day. That is it. No more no less. The one thing that is equal in this world among all people, cultures, religions, politics, etc is time. So the amount of time per day we have is all equal and you have just as much time per day as President Lincoln or Albert Einstein had. Did you ever stop to think about that? Probably not; too busy to think!

But what is not equal is what gets done in those 24 hours. Some people get so much accomplished in 24 hours, you would think they have 72 hours in their day. Reverse is also true as there are so many people that don't get a single thing done day after day; week after week; month after month; and year after year. Those people, time burners, tend to also be the ones who always complain about how busy they are and how unfair the world is.

I am totally fascinated with time. It's so powerful but yet delicate. I will give you a good tip that I use and borrowed from Ben Franklin. It's on my cell phone and computer every day on my calender.

Morning:
What good are you going to do today?

Night:
What good did you do today?

Every morning and every night answer these two questions and you will get more done. As I said above, in your pursuit to achieve everything in this world, make sure you don't accomplish nothing. I see so many people just running around all day but don't get anything really done. Don't do that; your 24 hours are precious so treat each day very carefully!

Chris

What is your message?

I hope you enjoy this. There are so many amazing people in this world. Just think about how powerful but yet simple this message is.....

Below you will see my message!

Question: What is your message?

Make today a great day!

Chris

Don't give up...Don't ever give up!

I love the spring season of the year. I know we are a few months away from spring but I still think about it. I love the crisp cool spring rain. I love the flowers blooming. I love watching the Masters on TV and seeing the beautiful green golf course with its majestic setting of Augusta. I love seeing the trees start to bud and the grass turning green. Spring reminds me of life. Spring reminds of new starts. Spring reminds me of endurance. We can learn much from Spring.

One of the things we can learn is about not giving up. In life, we can easily get discouraged and quit. Especially in this world of needing and getting everything we want instantly, we tend to give up if it takes time. Think about how many times you have given up on things in your life. Being completely transparent for a second, I can name a page full off the top of my head. This is so said when you think about it. This is terribly sad when you think that some of great things were just about to sprout up and become so special and powerful.

Don't give up.... Don't ever give up! as Coach Jimmy Valvano told us years ago before he left this world entirely too early. This is so true. Don't ever give up because just like the flowers and grass in spring, your dreams and goals will blossom and bless your socks off!

Also THANK YOU for the kind notes and emails! And also thank you for forwarding this on to people who may get a few ideas here and there. We have doubled our views over the last couple weeks.

Funny story: It is my son Teddy's 3rd birthday party on Friday. My wife was going over the list of who is coming to his party when he asks: "Is Santa coming too?"