They!

Have you ever thought about the word "they"? Who are they? Who is in this group of they for you? Why did they become a they? Why them? When did they become a they? The dictionary says they means:

1. nominative plural of he, she, and it.
2. people in general.

I think there are two "they" in our lives. The right they and the wrong they. Let's look at each of them a little closer up.

Wrong They: These are people who are negative and always bring us down. No matter the news, these people view life through a half empty point of view. These people could win a $1 million dollar lottery but then will complain about the taxes. We all know this type of person. They may mean well but just see the world through smudged lens and nothing is ever "right" with them. You bring these people a dream of yours that you are so jacked up about and then they poke holes and tell you why it will never work. I called these negative attitudes Debbie Downers! The wrong they also are those with the wrong priorities in life. They very well may be the most positive people in the world but just about the wrong things in life. For example a friend of your may be so excited and energized about spending 5 nights a week in a strip bar. Positive attitude but wrong priority. A wrong they. The wrong they are probably not many in our lives but Man, are they powerful. The wrong they... volume level is like 5x louder than the right they. And here is the worst part, if we listen to the wrong they long enough, we ourselves, become one of them....a wrong they.

Right They: These are people who just get "it" in life. They are such a joy to be around. They help and volunteer not as a publicity stunt but rather because they WANT to....They serve before ever wanting to be served! They are always (not just when its convenient) there for you in your times of need. They put others before themselves. The encourage you to dream and reach for your dreams. They challenge you and push you to become better. They call you out and question you when you need it (even though you may not want to hear the message). They love people. They love life. They love to love.

Questions t0 write down and think about this weekend: (Yes, I actually mean get out a pen and paper and go through this exercise on paper. Then think and reflect to make sure you got it. Then write down an action plan to get the great results you want!)

• Audit yourself: Who is in my "they"?
• Are they a right they or wrong they?
• Do I need to replace some wrong they? If so WARNING: This is so hard to do; but so needed! This won't be easy but you have to do it. I can't stress this enough how hard this is
• Overall: Which "They" did I listen to in my life? Who am I hearing? Who am I listening to...the wrong they or the right they?

Pay attention to anything in red: (old law school rule) Guaranteed formula to improve your life (how many times to get 100% promise on such huge item... like our life? But this is one you can take to the bank!)

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT THEY and ONLY LISTEN TO THE RIGHT THEY!

Be Kind!

Don't you think some people just seem to have it "all"? They got the looks, the body, the smarts, the money, the house, the car, the toys, the spouse, on and on.... What is our typical reaction and feelings to those that have it "all"? Jealous; right? Being real transparent for a second, this is true and we get real jealous of those people. And then when we get jealous, we also get mean, or at least not nice.

But all the sexy window dressing in the world does not cover up the fact that all of us are fighting a battle and not just any ol battle; but a great battle. The next time you run across a person that seems to have it "all" know that they are in the same battles as you and most of the time, even in more of a battle. Why more? Because it to have it "all" takes you off of the tracks of a well life lived train....and when you are off the tracks of life, things just are not good. You may be saying to yourself, well I will take my chances...so give me it "all" and let's see how happy I will become. Wrong thinking!

So what can we learn? So what should we do? As the quote says BE KIND!

I read this article the other day and it had 3 lessons for a good life. The 3 lessons were:

• Be Kind
• Be Kind
• Be Kind

I love this! I love how simple this is! I love how true this is! I love how much of a difference this would make! 3 little ol rules that would change the universe! Think about how different this world would be if we were all kind to each other? Have you ever met a kind person that is not happy? Think about it....I am just asking..So next time you meet someone.....be kind! So next time you see someone.....be kind! So next time you speak to someone......be kind!

Hot showers....and life!

I absolutely love a hot shower. I mean the kind where you just let the water pour over you while you drift away in thought and prayer. But before I can get to that ideal state of mind, I have to have the water temperature just right. So I am a confessed, obsessed "water temperature fidgeter." I gotta tell ya I mess with that temperature at least 20 times before its just right. I move the level here and there and back again.....I get on my own nerves! But once its just right, I then can slip into a perfect meditation. I threw Teddy in the shower last night and he yelled, "Daddy, too cold, too cold, too cold...." The environment was not right.

Like a perfect shower requires the right environment, so does our life. Question: What does your environment look like in your life? It is too hot? Is it too cold? Or is just right?

I think...scratch that....I know all of us have way more inside us than we ever thought possible. We as humans are the most amazing things ever created. We have deep treasures inside us all that we don't even know about. But in order for us to see and harvest those treasures, we must change our environment to a perfect environment. A perfect environment will enable us to explore and discover new boundaries of potential. But as I said before; here is the hard part: It requires CHANGE!

Some of the things (water temperature) we need to change:

• chaos....you can't even reach close to your potential when you are surrounded by chaos
• fear....when you think about it, what's really to fear? (if you have faith: NOTHING!)
• contentment....even if you life is good, it can be better....

We must get out of our comfort zones in order to see these new gifts and ideas. If we don't we will never reap those hidden blessings. And that is just too sad to even think about. For me, an example was Kelly and I had some medical advice that we probably would only have one child. Kelly, with all her will, was just not going to accept that. So even in the midst of life changing storms, we got out of comfort zones and messed around with the water temperatures in our life. What treasure did we find that we never thought possible? Tate Tapken was born 10.29.2007! (For those that don't know both Teddy and Tate are miracle IVF babies!)

Do this: Mess with and change your water temperature in your life so that you create the perfect environment! You will then be on the path to find the most spectacular riches you never thought excised!

Life and Hot Chocolate!

Seriously; is there anything better than a cup of hot chocolate? I don't care where you are from, how rich or poor, how cute or ugly you are....there is nothing better than a cup of hot chocolate! (with whip cream) It was cold in Austin over Thanksgiving and Kelly bought some hot chocolate. Certainly during this time of the year of being thankful, I gave thanks for good ol' h.c. But as I was having my fourth cup over the weekend, I thought about this story:

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life you have. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us. God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything that they have. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. And enjoy your hot chocolate.

My wish and prayer today is that each one of you love your hot chocolate!

Chris

What if we only could speak positive?

We are reminded often on the power of positive thinking. But we really don't hear much on the power of positive speaking. I think positive speaking is actually more important than positive thinking because when we speak, that gives actual birth to those thoughts. But the problem is in our society, it's not "cool" to talk positively. Look at the media and the words used. Last night I was watching the Sunday night NFL game and the teaser to the halftime show was a segment by NBC called "The worst person in the NFL". Come on! Really think about how sad this is. With all the great people in the NFL, why can't there be a segment called "The BEST person in the NFL?" Why? Because it's not "cool" to talk positively. Let's be a change agent and change the words we use.

But before we can change, we need to look at current behavior. We buy gossip magazines hanging on every word of celebrity failures. How wrong is this? We surf the Internet eating up negative bizarre stories. How sick is this? We spend hours per day watching negative TV. How wasteful is this? All this is so crazy when you take a step back and think about it. What possible good is coming out of this? None.

Yesterday, my family and I went to buy our Christmas tree. I was with Tate, my 1 month old son, and we were waiting for Kelly and Teddy. While at the store, I witnessed a mother just tearing into her child. I was sad. Then I watched a husband and wife screaming at each other like they were enemies. I was more sad. I was actually horrified as this all was happening in a span of 5 minutes. Then I looked down at this beautiful baby boy so innocent and full of life with the nothing but goodness of the future in front of him. I thought about this all night and now am clear on my thoughts. We have to change the way we speak! And here is a huge point: It's not enough just to cut off negative words; We must pro-actively speak positive words! Make sense?

Our words are so powerful that we don't have a clue! So we must be careful because once spoken, words can NEVER be taken back. This is a huge responsibility especially for those of us in authority roles (parents, bosses, etc). Negative words can destroy souls; ruin dreams; take away self esteem; create havoc in others. Terrible things!

But here is the Good news: Our positive words can create winners; can bring about peace and love; can bless others; can be all that is right with the world! Our children need positive words. Our co-workers need positive words. Our family's need positive words. Our church needs positive words. Our world needs positive words.

What if we could only speak positive words? Can you imagine the glory when the nightly news has nothing but 30 minutes of positive words and stories? What can of world do you think that would be? What kind of results would happen? Can you imagine how powerful the world would be if parents only talked positively to their children? Can you imagine the success if bosses could only positively coach the co-workers? Can you imagine how good the world would be is family's could only praise each other?

• Speak success and not fault
• Speak wins and not losses
• Speak love and not hate
• Speak of goodness and not bad
• Speak positive and not negative...ALWAYS!

Do this: Each morning, first thing, not only think positive thoughts but make them come to life by actually speaking. Say something like: Today I am blessed to speak positively and I am going to be a change agent by making it cool to talk positive. Today is going to be a great day and I am so thankful I can make a positive impact!

Same Act....HUGE difference in meaning!

You can learn so much from your kids. If you just pay attention, you can learn more about yourself and deep life answers from your kids than anything else in the world. This happen to me a couple days ago when I had an Ah-Ha moment and a real treasure learning experience.

Teddy is my soon-to-be 3 year old son. When we go to busy places or in parking lots, I will take Teddy's hand to make sure he is safe. I never gave any thought to this. Most of us parents just do this out of reaction with no thought to it.

Then, we were at a very cool Christmas tree lighting celebration last weekend and there were several thousand people there. As we were walking I told Teddy to grab my hand. He then told me "No" and then said "Daddy, you take my hand." I was puzzled.

I thought about this and it hit me. The Lesson: If Teddy takes my hand, he may let go and not be safe; but, if I take Teddy's hand, he knows Daddy will NEVER let go and he will ALWAYS be safe!

Same act but HUGE difference in meaning! Teddy and Tate: Daddy will NEVER let go and you will ALWAYS be safe!

Ask yourself: Am I holding enough people's hand to make sure they know I care and are safe? Do you do this for your spouse? Do you do this for your employees? Do you do this for your loved ones?

Chris

Nothing instant!

Have you ever had instant potatoes? No matter how much butter you want to put in them, they just flat out taste bad. You all know it too. There is no comparison to "real mash potatoes" vs "instant mash potatoes".

We live in an world where everything must be instant. We want it now. We will not wait. We are in a hurry. We want it now. And if we can't have it now, then most of the time don't want it at all, and by all means, we will not work for it. What, work for something? Actually do the push ups and see the results down the road? Actually put in the time and energy today but not see progress until later? Actually have patience? Actually have to sweat some and maybe shed some blood and maybe have a few tears? NO WAY! Not interested!

Some "it" examples:

• Instant wealth
• Instant happy marriage and harmony
• Instant friendships
• Instant communications (emails on phones, music on phones, text messages)
• Instant results (lose 20 pounds in 1 week informericals!)
• Instant gratification
• Instant entertainment

For example: We want to lose weight today. And I don't want to change anything I am currently doing. Just give me a pill or send me a machine that will melt away the pounds today because I have to lose weight by my class re-union next week. Typical right? Guess what; I hate to bring bad news but the only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you put in your mouth. Only 2 options to lose weight: You can eat less or you can find away to burn more calories. But somehow, someway you have to burn more calories than you consume. But the reality is that to lose weight, it takes time, energy and patience. There is no instant solution!

All these things take time and hard work! But its worth the wait because the results are so good after you put in the time and energy. Just like real mash potatoes. When you do the hard work of boiling, peeling, mashing, ect; the results are unbelievable!

Do the hard work.....Its worth it!

Adversity Tips

We all have adversity in our lives; that is just a fact. The important part is how we deal with the adversity. I would like to think I am good at handling adversity. I have had some experience mind you. But here are a few tips that help me and maybe you can find them useful.

• Realistic on the fact that I am not the only one with adversity. It happens to everyone. I am not a special case.
• Take the issue and map out worst case to best case. I actually get out paper and write it down. Then I have a very realistic guage as to the intensity of the adversity. If you write it down, I promise you will see that "things" just are not so bad in relation to the worst case scenarios.
• Now that I have a realistic view on the adversity, I write down how I can beat this adverisity in the most productive and fastest way possible.
• I focus on what are the things I can control. Often, we focus on things out of our control and work ourselves up into a roar when in truth, there is nothing possible we can do. So I don't sweat those things I can't control. That doesn't mean they are not there or real or even suck. They do suck and are real but I can't put any energy on those because I can't effect them.
• I plan. I plan action steps on things I can do to limit, reduce, or remove the adversity as fast as possible. What can I do? What can I control? What actions should I take? I want to be pro-active. I may even make a mistake but at least I am doing something. The opposite is sitting on the couch having a pity party using the HOPE method. I hope things get better. I hope this wasn't there. I hope things improve. I hate the HOPE method. But I love the I DO method. I do things......No time EVER for self pity!
• Monitor the results. Look at those things you are doing and determine if they are working or not. Then keep doing the things that are working and eliminate the rest. But you need to monitor the actions before you can determine the effectiveness.
• BE POSITIVE. Being negative will only cause more pain and stress. I am not saying this is easy because it is not. In fact, its terribly hard. Ever wonder why people are so negative? This is it. It is so hard to be positive in the middle of a storm. But do it!

This is my process. Hopefully some of these tips will work for you when faced with adversity. I hope none of you have any adversity but I am more realistic than that. Remember, its how you deal with adveristy that is most important.

I know this to be true: You are much stronger than you ever could think! You can handle more adversity than you could imagine! But have a process and take action! BE POSITIVE!

What NOT to do....

Sometimes we can learn as much from looking at what NOT to do as we can from what to do. This is one of those cases where we can learn from bad practices.

Ya'all (Texas term) know about my passion for WOW Experiences in business. A question I often ask is this: "When was the last time a business surprised you?" Almost all the time, people draw a blank and really can't remember any business experiences that stand out. That is because most business, and people for that matter, are all doing about the same thing. There are very few trail blazers and pioneers setting new exciting paths.

Well yesterday I had a surprise. I saw this sign in a business; no joke! I had to take a picture and share it with you. What in the world? What kind of customer service is this? I don't get it. And then when this business goes under the owner will scratch his head and wonder what went wrong. Amazing! I was surprised alright. Shocked actually; I can't believe this is how some people treat customers and do business.

Learn from this. Learn how NOT to do things too.

Shamu!

Since we have moved to Austin, one of the things we took advantage of was being only 45 minutes from Sea World. I took my son Teddy to Sea World and of course, Shamu was the hit! Shamu flat out just rocks!

But how did Shamu get so good? Was it by lack of training? Was it by no motivation? Was it by absence of leadership? Do you think Sea World just takes a boat out to sea and starts yelling "Jump Whales....Jump!" Do you think Sea World just puts an ad in the paper for expert whale that can jump ten feet out of the water and then....poof.....a Shamu shows up and just rocks the house. Hmmm. Guess what? It doesn't work like that. But in the event that a Shamu just does show up, those are called Superstars and just make sure the ACH hits her account every two weeks. But don't hold your breath because the Superstars will not just jump out of the water on their own.

Shamu naturally does not just jump over a rope ten feet in the air; on cue at the exact moment; and hit the notes perfectly every show. This takes huge amounts of spaced repetition training! The trainers start off by having Shamu swim over a rope. Then they raise it. Then they put it slightly out of the water. Then they put the rope completely out of the water. So on and so forth until it becomes second nature for Shamu to rock the house by jumping over a rope and soaking the first ten rows!

Same is true in business. It takes a training strategy. It takes a huge commitment to excellence in training. It takes leadership! All your employees can become so much better than you, or they, ever thought by a spaced repetition excellent training program. The reason spaced repetition is so critical is the same as Shamu training. Sea World does not just show Shamu a video and say "Now go out there and make it happen." People, like whales, learn by taking a concept and learning it and then practicing it and finally perfecting it. Then another concept is introduced on top of the first one. Same thing. Learn, Practice and Perfect it. So an and so forth until the end result is a huge whale shocking the audience by super cool performing. People can improve so much by training and positive motivation.

Same is also true in your personal life. You are capable of Shamu type results and performance by applying those same principles. Hard work. Attitude. Positive environment. Accountability. Leadership. Out of the box thinking. Out of your comfort zone. New points of view. Positive re-enforcement. Teachable. Commitment.

Turn your company and yourself into the Star of the Show and be a Shamu!

Risk

I hear people all the time telling me they want to make changes in their life. I would like to do xxxx. If only I could do yyyyyyy. Someday I am changing to zzzzzzz. On and on. Then I ask: OK, I agree you should do ABC, so now what risk are you ready to take on?

Blank stare. Blank stare. Blank stare. And then after the uncomfortable silence wears them down, I will get a response like this: "I am willing to risk it all as long as I don't have to give anything up." WOW!

News flash: To get what you really want in your life, you have to go backwards! And YES this means you have to give things up! If life were only so easy as to hit all your goals without doing any push ups! Reality check please!

Example: Your goal is freedom in your work life. You just don't want to work for anybody else again. You want to be the captain of your work boat. This is do-able. In fact its fairly easy to open a business. But then the hard part and risk kicks in. No longer are those bi-weekly checks ACH'ed in your account. Most times if not all times, you will go backwards financially, at first, in opening a new business. This is RISK. But the return is that you will have freedom.

All decisions come with risk-rewards. But please understand, to get what you want, you will go backwards and have to take risk. That is just a fact! I am living proof of that and my checking balance will also prove this out. But never will I regret my risks.

In fact, I am one of those that actually likes living with the chips on the table! Yee-haw; let's go for it!

B + D = H

Here is a good road map for success both in business and even more importantly, your personal life.

Be what you have to be.

Do what you have to do.

Have what you want to have.

So many times, people get stuck in a rut. They just don't know how to get out and make changes to progress. People have these mind blocks that prevent them from seeing different points of view or paths that would take them out of the life rut. Then, couple that with most having a lack of courage to change, and you have a ton of people that just accept where they are in life; even though they are terribly unsatisfied.

B + D = H

In the above formula, the "D" or do is the hang up most of the time. Those people in the ruts of life just will not DO what is needed to get out of the rut. They lack courage. They lack planning. They surely lack discipline. They lack execution. They lack accountability.

In order to keep movin' the life needle, you have to DO stuff! You have to execute well thought out strategies. You have to try things. You have to change.

This works! Be what you have to be; Do what you have to do; and the result is you having what you want to have!

Code of ethics.....

Let me tell you a true story about Professor Bonk who taught Chemistry at Duke University. One year, three guys were taking Chemistry and all getting a solid "A" going into the final exam. They were so confident that the weekend before finals they decided to go up to the University of Virginia to party with some friends. Due to bad hangovers, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they explained to Professor Bonk that they had driven up to the University of Virginia for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare, so they didn't get back to campus until late Sunday night.

Professor Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day.

The three guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day. Professor Bonk placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, looked at his watch and told them to begin.

They opened up the test booklet and saw the first question about solutions was worth 5 points. They all thought this was going to be easy.

Then they turned the page and saw the 2nd question worth 95 points: Which tire?

Lesson: In all you do and say, do it as if your grandma is watching!

Life Inventory

Question to ask yourself: Why am I doing what I am doing?

Inventory is key to any business. You do an inventory of your products to make sure everything is accounted for and you have data to make the best decisions that produce the best results.

But do you do an inventory of your life actions? Most people don't. This is why so many people are stuck in a rut and do the same things over and over again; often times the wrong things. This leads to a life road that is bumpy and filled full of pot holes with little scenic value.

We have all heard the saying: Stop and smell the roses. Right? It is so true. We need to stop and do an inventory of our life actions and ask ourselves why we are doing what we are doing. By doing this, we now have the data to make the best decisions that produce the best results. For example: Do you have a list of the people you love? Then, based on that list, does your time sync with those that mean most to you? If not, hmmmmm; does that really make sense?

Do an inventory of your life actions and make changes if you need to. Make those changes today.

Flower Power

FLOWER POWER!

I just got back from the Four Seasons in downtown Austin. They just flat "get it" and do it right! As you walk in, immediately to greet the guests, are two huge amazing flower displays. It just sets the tone right away that this place is special and a WOW Experience!

Those flowers are not by accident. This is all planned and very much on purpose. Flowers just make us all feel good. Flowers are so positive!

TRY IT TODAY!

If you are in business, go out today and get a nice display of fresh flowers and put them where you greet your customers. I promise they will notice and comment on them. It will separate your business from the pack.

If you are not in business, go out today and get a nice display of flowers for your home. It is a guaranteed product that will make you feel good!

TRY IT! Flower Power! After you try it, comment on the results; but you have to try it.

The Journey! (real life)

Picture is worth a 1000 words!

My son Teddy was drawing on a blank white paper and his picture became very clear to me. An "ah ha" moment from this brilliant 2 year old. A Masterpiece! He was not drawing scribble but rather the reality of life's journey. So often we expect life to take us on a straight line from point A to point B with little to no issues along the way. We want it all. We want it now. We want no problems.

Guess what? That is not real life!Life will have turns and bends along the way. Life will also throw you obstacles along the journey. (see blue triangles as obstacles) It's all planned. It's all on purpose. That's when the word "FAITH" comes into play.

Besides, how boring would life be with just a straight line with no scenic hills along the way? What a boring drive this would be. Life is to be a fun challenge. Life is to be this beautiful drive full of turns, rolling hills, some mountains, and a lots of scenic sites that take our breath away. Don't get discouraged by the turns and bumps; they are supposed to be there. Rather embrace these turns and hills and view them as all part of this amazing plan to take you on the most joyous trip called Your Life!

Chris

By the way: Thanks Teddy for making this so clear!

Positive or Negative

We have way too much negativity around us. I think the above question is a good one that entirely too often, we don't think about. The reason: it is not easy to think about and self reflection can be scary. But the end result is one of two things: If you are negative, you will attract bad things. If you are positive, you will attract good things in your life.

It is that simple. We can window dress it as something unknown or way more complicated but the road all ends up in one of those two spots.

Start your path today of being positive (and not fake positive but genuine positive). Good results are sure to follow.

Chris

Kiss!

A man approached JP Morgan, held up an envelope, and said, “Sir, in my hand I hold a guaranteed formula for success, which I will gladly sell you for $25,000.” “Sir,” JP Morgan replied, “I do not know what is in the envelope, however if you show me, and I like it, I give you my word as a gentleman that I will pay you what you ask.” The man agreed to the terms, and handed over the envelope. JP Morgan opened it, and extracted a single sheet of paper. He gave it one look, a mere glance, then handed the piece of paper back to the gent. And paid him the agreed-upon $25,000.

The Paper:

1. Every morning, write a list of the things that need to be done that day.

2. Do them!

Don't make things any harder than they have to be. This is the simple tool but yet nothing more effective!

TRY IT! Guarantee this will improve your life and results!